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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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But then, the mood shifts. This group of teenagers rolls up, blastin’ music from their phone. I’m like, “Really? In the park?” They’re laughin’ and dancin’, and I’m just sittin’ there, tryin’ to enjoy my moment. I mean, come on, Svitlovodsk, can’t a guy catch a break?

A Month of War in Ukraine